Blessing
Princess Diana and Prince Charles captured our minds and hearts; now everyone watches Prince William and Kate. We Americans love our royals. The byzantine Church loves royalty, too. The wedding ceremony, like every Divine Liturgy, begins, "Blessed is the Kingdom," as we encounter the Lord "clothed in majesty and glory" (Psalm 103:1).
"Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, and of Son and of the Holy Spirit" reminds the couple and all present that this union is more than a legal contract or a societal convention. It is two persons mystically entering the very life of the Holy Trinity. Just as the Trinity involves three Persons in one God, marriage involves the union of three persons: husband, wife and Christ. This living love relationship begins with and finds its fulfillment in the Kingdom of God.
The priest places crowns on the head of the bride and the groom, asking God to bless them, bestowing upon them crowns of the eternal Kingdom of "the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." The very wedding ceremony itself is called "the Ritual of Crowning." God sanctifies and consecrates human love as He "crown[s] them with glory and honor" (Psalm 8:6).
The crowns signify a return to paradise where God gave Adam and Eve dominion over creation. Husband and wife receive the same dominion as king and queen of a new creation, their own new family, their mini-church.
Unlike worldly royals whose dominion belongs to them, husband and wife share in God's dominion; He empowers them to make His Kingdom present in the world. In this way, their crowns are crowns of martyrdom
(Touch the screen below to hear the Troparia of the Crowning). The word "martyr" means "witness," and together husband and wife witness to the presence of God in the world. Just as Christian martyrs die to live for Christ, husband and wife each must die to self-centeredness in order to grow closer to one another and to God. A selfish person cannot enter marriage successfully. Married royals are not self-important, but self-sacrificing.
Through their mutual sacrificial love, husband and wife grow in their union with one another. Unity in marriage means more than something physical, although spousal unity attains a physical expression. When the priest blesses the couple he asks God to "unite them in one mind and flesh." Union of mind and heart attain expression through physical intimacy, they are not brought about by it.
The real king and queen imitate Christ the King of Glory Who reigns from the throne of the cross "clothed in majesty and glory."
Contrary to the prevailing cultural wisdom that says good sex makes a good relationship, the Church knows and teaches that without authentic union, physical intimacy alone will leave a relationship empty and shallow. Real relationship requires real sacrifice that makes self-giving possible even when faced by challenges like physical or mental illness and addictions of various kinds.
The links below explore these issues.
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